Want To Change Everything? - Ho'oponopono 

  • By Moira McDougall
  • 28 Jul, 2015

Ho’oponopono Changes Everything

Ho’oponopono - I am sorry, I love you, please forgive me, thank you.
Ho’oponopono - I am sorry, I love you, please forgive me, thank you.
I recently attended a four day seminar that was literally a life changer for me. Based on the soon-to-be-released book Becoming a Sun, the author David Karchere was also the main facilitator of the seminar. More of that in a later post, though.

For now, I am still really focused on the experiential work we did using the ancient Hawaiian practice of reconciliation and forgiveness – Ho’oponopono.

The Hawaiian Dictionary defines the practice of Ho’oponopono as mental cleansing: family conferences in which relationships were set right through prayer, discussion, confession, repentance, and mutual restitution and forgiveness.

The practice of Ho’oponopono is a tool for atonement, it corrects errors, restores and maintains good relationships among family members, erases the effects of past actions and memories that cause havoc and grief in our lives and the lives of others - by getting to the causes and sources of trouble.

The practice is so simple and the results so profound!

The four step Ho'oponopono process invokes the powerful forces of Repentance, Forgiveness, Gratitude and Love .

Step 1: Repentance – I am Sorry
o This statement opens the door to atonement. The moment you take responsibility for any negative manifestation you experience or witness you also create an opportunity for healing
o The apology is an acknowledgement that we are sorry for whatever it is that we (or our ancestors before us) have done to cause the adverse circumstance to take place.

Step 2: Ask Forgiveness – Please Forgive Me
o We ask for forgiveness with the absolute certainty that it has already been granted.

Step 3: Gratitude – Thank You
o Whatever your petition or concern, the moment you take responsibility for its occurrence and seek a way out--you are guaranteed a response.
o Your "thank you" is the acknowledgement that your petition has been heard and acted upon.

Step 4: Love – I Love You
o Love is a great healing power that reverberates through your psyche and generates an immediate feeling of well-being.
o Say I LOVE YOU. Say it to your body, say it to God / The Powerful All That Is. Say I LOVE YOU to the air you breathe, to the house that shelters you. Say I LOVE YOU to your challenges. Say it over and over. Mean it. Feel it. There is nothing as powerful as Love.


The author Dr Joe Vitale heard about a Psychologist in Hawaii, Dr. Ihaleakala Hew Len, who cured a complete ward of criminally insane patients – without ever seeing any of them, by using Ho’oponopono . When asked how he accomplished this, he explained "I just kept saying, 'I'm sorry' and 'I love you' over and over again".

Joe Vitale went on to write a book with Dr Len, Zero Limits, in which Dr Len states:

“We are all responsible for everything that we see in our world. By taking full personal responsibility and then healing the wounded places within ourselves, we can literally heal ourselves and our world. Whenever a place for healing presents itself in your life, open to the place where the hurt resides within you. After identifying this place, with as much feeling as you can, say the below four statements:
• I am sorry
• Please forgive me
• I love you
• Thank you”


“Blame is far easier than total responsibility, but as I spoke with Dr Len, I began to realize that healing for him and in Ho'oponopono means loving yourself. If you want to improve your life, you have to heal your life. If you want to cure anyone – even a mentally ill criminal – you do it by healing you.

Turns out that loving yourself is the greatest way to improve yourself, and as you improve yourself, you improve your world.
Suffice it to say that whenever you want to improve anything in your life, there's only one place to look: inside you. And when you look, do it with love.” – Joe Vitale.


I am truly grateful for learning about this process, and for all the opportunities where I shall be able to practice it.

Are you also ready to love yourself?
Are you ready to improve your world?

If you have found this post inspiring or helpful, please re post and share!

(References:   http://www.thereisaway.org     http://www.wanttoknow.info ; http://www.laughteronlineuniversity.com ; Wikipedia)

Self Manage Chronic Pain

By Moira McDougall 14 Feb, 2017

I recently visited an elderly woman in her home, in my community therapy role. So much had been happening in her world. During the weeks since my last visit she had experienced some serious health challenges, and her brother had died.

How could I be surprised that she had not managed to continue with the exercise and walking programme we had started?

She was tired, heartbroken and wracked with guilt, describing herself as “full of self-pity” because she was mourning the loss of her dear brother. This had also reminded her of the grief she experienced when her sister died a year previously.

I sat and listened with my Whole Heart.

 I was not there to offer solutions, to slap a band-aid over her aching heart, to make light of her feelings. I told her I believed it was good, right and proper to feel such acute loss and to express it. How else do we recover from our deep wounds?

She told me about her family, her ancestors who had migrated to New Zealand from an Eastern European country, just before the time of the Depression. She spoke of a grandfather who worked many menial jobs to provide for his family of seven children. Her parents also worked hard to raise her and her many siblings – a labour of love which she reflected on with great gratitude. She spoke of one of her sisters who had endured many trials and tribulations only to finally triumph – and she now lives overseas. She spoke with love of her own children – their successes and challenges.

In the telling, she called all of her Ancestors into that small lounge. I could feel them standing around her. I told her that I believed that talking about our Loved ones brings them close.

I can recognise the entrenched belief that being occupied fully, being accountable for every minute spent at the expense of any form of pure relaxation, has been ingrained in our psyches. No wonder, then, that this dear soul believed she was “full of self-pity” because her thoughts kept turning to those she loved dearly who were no longer here, in physical form. Because she could not do it for herself, I offered her the gift of my time, so that she could express what her heart was longing to share.

When it was time for me to leave, she hugged me tightly and thanked me for “just listening”. I feel I was the recipient of the greater gift. I heard her heart sing!

Do you feel taking time to grieve is selfish? Do you believe it is a form of self-pity?

I welcome your comments.

By Moira McDougall 12 Jan, 2017

You are going to win! With these words spurring me on, how could I not be a winner!

This morning I set out on my morning run, and it was hot already. Along the way, I passed and greeted a mum on her early morning walk, pushing her two small children in their stroller. The older child called out to me as I passed them, “you are going to win!”. How could I not honour that proclamation? How could I even consider feeling tired or discouraged with those beautiful words ringing in my ears?

This set me thinking about the many times I feel discouraged, as if I am wading through sludge. I have a strong work ethic, and set myself tasks and deadlines. This works for me when I have a good idea about a desired outcome, because it keeps me on track and I can measure my progress. But what happens when I am not sure about what I want to pursue or produce?

I am marooned in indecision, in not knowing, what my ‘next step’ is. Do you experience this too?

Business and personal coaching works wonders in helping one to define a pathway, helping to break down goals into manageable steps, in order to reach the defined outcome. This supposes that one already KNOWS or at least has an idea of the desired outcome.

One beautiful practice I was invited to participate in, invited us each to choose a Word to define a theme to focus on through the new year ahead, and to choose four Supporting Words to cushion or supplement the Word.

I have chosen SURRENDER.

Nothing works easily when I am pushing uphill, trying to do it all alone. I am not giving up, just practising being present in the moment, experimenting with ‘flowing’ rather than being rigid.

My supporting words are Grace, Gratitude, Courage and Insight – all qualities I will need to call on and include in my daily living.

Which brings me back to the proclamation “You are going to win!” We are all winners when we focus on what inspires us, what gives us meaning, and practice living in the present moment. And when we have others cheering us on!

“You are going to win!” – how does that make YOU feel?

By Moira McDougall 02 Jan, 2017

I have a heavy heart moving into this new year. Endings and more endings, because I am grieving the loss of two people dear to me.

My sister Anne has dementia and she is sliding further into the space between here and there. While she is still physically present, I miss her intellect, her sharp wit, her full presence. She is my older sister. I have known her my whole life. I never imagined that I would not be with her ‘fully’. She was the drawcard for my move to live in Christchurch.

She always looked after my younger brother and I; we looked up to her and trusted her guidance. As the eldest child, she copped the authority of our parents, and she fought hard for her independence. She is super intelligent, and my brother and I had a hard time following after her at school. She chose her own path, and with her husband travelled to places I have only ever dreamt of.

Now, I call on all my parenting and therapy skills as I navigate our relationship. She can’t remember what she ate two minutes ago, or whether she has eaten at all. She can’t dress herself. Her spatial awareness is impaired – steps are a challenge, and she doesn’t recognise familiar objects. Loud noises and busyness upset her, and her tolerance levels are reduced. Soon, she will need to be placed into full time care, which seems like a jail sentence. Excepting, there is no parole to look forwards to.

My heart is breaking. How did her Soul choose this challenge in this Lifetime?


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